This was my husband 5 years ago at his sisters wedding, but a great picture of him in his uniform. I must say, I have always been a sucker for a man in a uniform.
He wanted to play in the grass the whole day. LOL
His favorite present was the wrapping paper. He
Camden is such a great big brother. He helped Ben open
My mother made Ben an awesome Monsters Inc. Cake!
A special thanks to Shaws for going out of business so my mother
Then came the cake... Unlike Camden, he was only interested
Yum Yum Yum
He really enjoyed in... until I tried to give him a drink...
So then came clean up... and immediately after he was washed up,
Well, this time a year ago, I was getting set up for an epidural. I had been awake for 30 hours, my labor wasn’t progressing, and we were all really at a loss. I needed sleep, and everyone, except for my husband really agreed the epidural may be most helpful. I think Will disagreed with it so much because I had told him and basically drilled it into his head for 9 months that I would not be having one this time around, but none of us anticipated a back labor that would span over 26 hours either.
Complication after complication started when I woke up a little before noon. My cervix was starting to swell, and Ben just wouldn’t come down past -1 station. We tried everything to get him to budge, and he wouldn’t move. At this point I think the giant elephant in the room became more and more apparent to everyone. It took me about an hour to come to terms that the only way Benjamin was safely coming into this would was by a second cesarean section, which I worked so hard through my entire pregnancy to avoid.
Benjamin Emil Elwood was born at 1:59 pm via cesarean section weighing in at 7 pounds, and 3 ounces. Smaller than my oldest, even though I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes with my pregnancy. The moment I saw him, right after they removed him from the incision in my abdomen, I could see a giant bruise on his forehead. It took the on call OB, and the Resident on staff for the day to get him out. He was JAMMED in there. No way he would have descended anymore than he had. I think that made me feel slightly better than I originally felt with the decision to consent to the second cesarean.
I know looking back at all that happened with his birth, there is nothing that I could have done differently to change the outcome of my birth experience. I think that is what has helped me be more accepting of his birth than my first. Had I not consented and continued to labor, I not only could have hurt myself, but I could have hurt myself. I desperately wanted a VBAC, but I am not a martyr, and I would not do it at the expense of anyone’s safety. Contrary to what some seem to think.
Looking back, there is nothing that I would have changed. Not getting pregnant when Camden was only 8 months old, not choosing the midwives I did, nothing. I loved every moment of my pregnancy with Benjamin, while I may not feel the same about his delivery, I was blessed with such a unique, bright, and beautiful little boy who was always meant to be part of our family.
I certainly do not feel that our family is complete, but for the time being, it certainly is. I think after Ben’s birth, both my husband and I are certainly scared to have anymore children any time soon. The two cesareans have been emotionally trying on both of us, and certainly physically trying on me. It took me nearly 3 weeks to actually feel human after Ben was born, and to remove myself from my dark bedroom and join the rest of the world.
There is so much my little Jo Jo (one of Ben’s many nicknames) has taught me. One being that no matter what we do as parents, sometimes our children have other plans for us. Ben was exclusively breastfed for the first 5 weeks of his life, during that time, we couldn’t figure out why he was so colicy but in reality, it was a reaction to my milk. We tried everything from dietary changed, to a variety of formulas before we finally found something that would work for him. It was the longest 8 weeks of my life. Cap that off with 3 surgeries (for me) starting when Ben was only 5 weeks old… I think that seriously aided to the stress in the house.
He is the light of all of our lives, including his big brother Camden. I thought there would be some jealousy issues in the house between the two children, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. Camden has been the most attentive big brother. Loving, teaching, and overall infatuated with his little brother. I really could not have asked for a better big brother.
The process of transitioning from a mother of one, to a mother of two would have made me insane if I didn’t have the help of my husband. The day we brought Ben home from the hospital, our oldest got his first flu of his life. Such timing!
There are some days I am sure I am going to lose my mind before my husband gets home from work, but I somehow manage to keep it together till he walks through the door and the kids clamor to him like they haven’t seen him in a year.
Wow! I just can’t believe that it has been a year already! Where does the time go? It feels like yesterday he was born and I was cradling him in my arms in my hospital bed waiting for one of the nurses to come in and yell at me for co-sleeping!
Benjamin Emil, you have changed my life in so many ways. Given me and understanding of difficult parenting, and children. Taught me the feelings and emotions that go with a medically necessary cesarean section, which has enabled to me help mothers on a whole new level. You are the light of my life and Mommy loves you so much!
The dock & The Bounty
The Bounty
Camden & I
My Dad (Grandpa Momo)
Camden the Pirate
Ben enjoying some ice cream
Camden and my mom before dinner.
Will up to bat
Gerry batting
Kerry Anne and Ben all cuddled up staying warm.
All the guys after the game.
I think that many of us mothers do not appreciate our own mothers until we become mothers ourselves. Which brings me to my post today. I never think I really appreciated (well on the level I should have) until I really understood how much mothers give up for their own children.
My mother has an amazing story to tell of success as not only a teen mother, but a single mother which started in 1969 with the birth of my oldest brother. When he was 21 months old my sister was born in 1971. Shortly after my mother left her then husband, and started a rough journey as a single mother. Which she remained until the early 1980’s when she met my father. After sleepless nights, working three jobs at one time, and no help from her own mother like one would expect this day in age in her situation. She eventually after all the hard work and struggling owned her own successful bar/restaurant in Lordship directly on the water at what is now called “The Sea Wall” which was called Pop’s. Also where she met my father who had just returned from living for almost a decade in California, and returned home to where he grew up.
My father was a brave man, single mother, with two teens. Most guys today would not even think twice and run the other way. They fell in love, and I was born in June of 1985, followed by their wedding in August of 1985. We were all one big family. As I was growing up my mother became a stay at home mother for the first time in her life. She was able to stay at home with me and always be included in the school functions, and whatever else I decided to sign myself up for as I got older.
In 1996 my mother became a Grandmother for the first time to Dylan, who she has always called her “boyfriend” and he continues to be a Grandma’s boy. It wasn’t until he was born that I realized how dedicated she is not only to her own children, but to her grandchildren also. Dylan was followed by Eli, Theo, and then came Camden in 2007. Followed by Jacob in early 2008.
When I became pregnant with my first child, my mother went from being my mother, to my best friend. We went to lunch together weekly, which was always followed by some kind of baby shopping, OB/GYN appointment, ultrasound, registry, baby shower planning, or whatever other baby planning event needed to get done that week. She helped me decorate his nursery, pick out his crib, clothes, and all the adorable clothes. She planned and hosted my baby shower, and has been the worlds best Grandmother to my children. We always job with her that Ben is her fault. She had purchased Camden a long sleeve shirt to put under whatever he was wearing for the day, and the shirt said “I’m the Big Brother” well that month Ben was conceived. LOL!
I could not ask for a better example as a mother (as most of our family calls her Martha Stuart) and Grandmother for my children. She is always the first to step up and help out, the first to the rescue when I need her, the first at the hospital when the kids were born, and the first one to offer a helping hand when she sees me up to my eyeballs in laundry, stress, or dishes.
I love you Mom!
Happy Mother Day!
